This is how Holden Caulfield introduces himself in The Catcher in the Rye, written by J.D. Salinger :
If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me, and in the second place, my parents would have two hemorrhages apiece if I told anything pretty personal about them.
This is how Anna, Ikea’s automated online assistant, introduces herself on Ikea’s website :
Welcome to IKEA. I’m Anna, IKEA’s Automated Online Assistant. In order to help you more efficiently, please tell me your nearest store, if you do not have a store close to you please say ecommerce.